How The Mighty Have Fallen

Imagine you are the mother fucking Governator. You won the Mr. Universe competition and Mr. Olympia contest seven times for having a diesel ass body and being able to crush normal human beings with your bare hands. You were the number one blockbuster movie star of all time, and the originator of awesome quotes now part of American lexicon such as "I'll be back", "Hasta la vista, baby." and "Who is your daddy, and what does he do?" You slept your way into the Kennedy family and became a two-term governor of the most populous state in America. You called Democrats "girlie men" and although you blew a bunch of dough investing in Planet Hollywood, you are still worth about $200 million.

If you had accomplished all of the above, you think you would be able to get any woman you wanted. Any beautiful woman would beckon to serve your greatest sexual desires. But Ahnold chose to cheat on his wife with someone who looks like she should be drinking cheap beer out of a paper bag and playing dominos at those built in cement tables while the 65 other members of her immediate family grill corn and tomatillos on a hastily erected grill in between the swingset and sprinkler in your local public park to the familiar sounds of 140-decibel salsa music blasting from the boombox illegally rigged to the lamp post. Dont get me wrong, I think Latina women are some of the most beautiful on earth. Many remain hot into their forties and fifties. But I draw the line at bisabuelas.

What does Ahnold see here with his superhuman vision that the rest of us don't?

Ahnold admitted he was abused as a child. Was sleeping with this woman a continued form of self abuse? He easily could have found an extremely hot, very hot, hot, sort of hot, or average looking woman to have sex with. Why would he choose this beast of a woman? It is one thing to sleep with a substandard woman who you have been married to for 40 years. Of course your 60 year old wife's looks have declined over the last few decades of life, but to actually go out and choose an ugly old woman to have sex with? WTF Governator? What. The Fuck.???