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| The Feast in more authentic grittier times |
Anyway, I posted a comment pretending to be one of the gentrifiers, but I go over the top so no one with half a brain would think I was actually one of them. Apparently, I forgot that the internet is filled with mongoloid morons who take every word literally. Below is the facebook post chain, I removed the few posts from the three or four people intelligent enough who recognized the post was a joke, the rest of the content is 10000% Genuine. Wow, are people fucking stupid, especially the one chick Jennifer with her $250,000 law degree. Shitfuck.
| Sam (Me): | 3:40pm Feb 4 |
I own a boutique on Elizabeth street where I sell $140 Save Brooklyn t-shirts and Papier Mache art sculptures. We have been open for 4 months, and my business is much more important than an 85 year old street fair. My parents don't pay $4,000 a month for my 300 square foot studio for me to have to listen to street noise, and my $140,000 liberal arts degree means I am better than the people who have lived in this neighborhood for decades.
| Anthony Fontana: |
Hey Sam,,Who gives a fuck about you...... you couldn't be the shit under our shoes
| John Zodda | 3:40pm Feb 4 |
HEY JERKOFF IT YOUR PEOPLE YOU SCUMBAG THAT COME HERE BREAK EVERY RULE AND GET AWAY WITH IT YOU PRICK GUYS LIKE YOU IF THEY WERE IN JAIL WOULD GET SCREWED IN THERE ASSHOLE
| John Zodda | 3:41pm Feb 4 |
READ IT EVERYBODY THATS HOW YOU HANDLE SHIT YOU SHOVEL IT TO THE SIDE
Mr. Zodda, I would love to meet you, you sound so urban and authentic! You may be interested in our "I LOVE TALKING IN ALL CAPS" clothing line. T-shirts start at $175 and hoodies cost only $440. For just a small portion of the allowance you get from your parents you too can belong to the hip crowd on Elizabeth street
| Joseph Saccomanno | 3:49pm Feb 4 |
You just not acting right Sam.
| John Zodda | 3:51pm Feb 4 |
WELL IF HE HAS BALLS HE COULD POST HIS ADRESS AND APT NO WELL SEE HOW REINED HE IS
| Anna Iakoubtchik | 4:03pm Feb 4 |
Sam you should have thought about noise before you signed the lease. You're here four months, the feast is here for 85 years and its not going anywhere!
| Me: | 4:08pm Feb 4 |
I think I will make some "Save the Feast" t-shirts and sell them to my gentrifying friends for $85 each. That way, when the feast is canceled my fellow gentrifiers and I can sit around and drink coffee and blog about how we lived here in grittier times. Thanks Anna for the awesome idea!
| Jennifer Biondo | 4:08pm Feb 4 |
Sam...let me explain something to you....I live down the block from you in my $200 dollar a month INHERITED 1000 square foot, 2 bedroom, elevated apartment and we apologize that mommy and daddy pay your bills and its unfortunate that with your "$140,000" liberal arts degree, aka..I WENT TO SCHOOL TO PLEASE MY RICH MOMMY AND DADDY, resulted in your making toilet paper sculptures. In addition to my fabulous $200 a month apartment, my QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS JURIS DOCTORATE trumps your useless degree you wasted money on to make "t-shirts" and toilet paper sculptures. So, with that said...ive lived here for 26 years and continue to live here...now please...tell tell me WHERE YOU ARE IN ANY MEANS BETTER THEN ME??? Ill come visit when I run out of toilet paper.
Anna De Chirico | 4:09pm Feb 4 |
@ Sam, wrong page wrong subject to joke around . Have some respect for peoples cultures, beleifs, and SACRED Saints. Go play legally blond someplace else. Much luck to you and your business! 300 s.q @ $4,000.00? You are blessed with common sense! Congratulations!
| Me: | 4:26pm Feb 4 |
| Andrew Amorosso | 4:29pm Feb 4 |
Only 2 things come out of Montana Sam..........
| Jennifer Biondo | 4:32pm Feb 4 |
Sam...maybe you should have paid for yours because you would have more respect for yourself....as I have in myself...you want a biscuit for getting a scholarship? I didnt mention a scholarship...how do you know I don't have the same? Oh wait...you don't! I was just announcing my self worth!...What kind of "culture" are you? A cultivated potato planter from Idaho? And I would love to meet you!...Next time, you can teach me about molding toilet paper and I can teach you how to eat a Sausage and Peppers Hero off my food truck...or better yet...a Canoli from my stand in San Genarro. Stop by...the corner of Spring and Mott...
| Deborah Tardi-Montelbano | 4:34pm Feb 4 |
Clearly you are a nut Sam! Anyone who gets a full scholarship and chooses to "study" liberal arts is only good for playing with toilet paper. Didn't your parents teach you anything? Never waste free money Sam. And if you are from Montana you know nothing about culture, all you know about is horse shit!
| Phyllis Pipoli Abreu | 4:35pm Feb 4 |
nice try Sam for one the San Gennaro Festival does not run along Elizabeth Street it runs through Mulberry Street so the noise you speak of has nothing to do with the feast it is the people like yourself who continue to open up bars and do not abide by the noise laws brooklyn Tee shirt both you and I know that so what that has to do with the Feast I do not know it should be taken up with them... second what not be important to you might be very important to someone else and visa versa no one cares what your parents pay for your rent again like it has been said many times knowing you would be paying such a high rent you should have thought twice about moving here and that our traditions were not going to stop because of what you pay for rent if it is such a bother to you where you come from awaits your return ..as for your 140.000 dollar education you could fool me the words you use such as your education makes you better than us only shows your ignorance as a matter of fact it saddens me that this sort of attitude would come from what you have been taught growing up do not get me wrong education is wonderful and both my children and grandchildren I wish and wished for them to have a good education but they also need to know know how to use it goes beyond books what we have cannot be taught sitting at a classroom desk or bought for all the money in the world so that 140.000 dollars you speak of I am sad to say was an investment gone bad because you were cheated n along Elizabeth Street it runs along Mulberry street so the noise you speak of is comming from people like yourself the business owners who do not respect the noise laws
| Deborah Tardi-Montelbano | 4:37pm Feb 4 |
You would have been truly BLESSED to have grown up here! To know what family and friends are, to have customs & traditions that go back thousands of years is something you could never understand or appreciate even with you free education. Move while you can Sam.
| Tina Bologna Apuzzo | 4:39pm Feb 4 |
Sam you need to save yourself.. Don't worry about saving Brooklyn.. It's hotter than ever.. You might be educated, but you have no common sense.. I'm sorry for you. You should be putting your energies and education into something worth while than to sell "Save Brooklyn T-Shirts"...lolol
| Me: | 4:41pm Feb 4 |
Phyllis, you just inspired me to start a new clothing line. Its called we dont need no punctuation and it will be a vintage Pink Floyd design that I will sell for $220 to my gentrifying brothers and sisters. I cant wait to see you at the feast Jennifer, but I am a vegan. Do you have any soy sausage and peppers?
| Jennifer Biondo | 4:44pm Feb 4 |
Wow what school did you go to Sam? You use double negatives while speaking...ENGLISH 101...and I got whateva you want Sammy Boy!....But after eating "soy" your your gonna need your toilet paper which has been clearly established you have alot of...
| Tina Bologna Apuzzo | 4:48pm Feb 4 |
Sam, mangia merdaaaaaaaaa.. punta basta.
| Andrew Amorosso | 4:49pm Feb 4 |
Hey Sam,so you have a degree, that's beautiful. Thermomoters have degrees, do you know where we put those? I don't believe a human being could attain the level of arrogance and ignorance that you pretend to have achieved. Be part of the solution sam( go home) or be part of the problem( get sent home). But the truth is, I don't believe your REAL. What makes the rest of the people on this comment trail different than you is we are without a doubt, 100% as REAL as it gets. Now you can make a t shirt , you can entitle the line " nobody ever paid me attention so I moved to new York and tried to be cool, but I couldn't figure out how to be Real" and I guarantee you, you will sell 50,000 of them at the upcoming feast. Now do us all a favor and go piss up a rope.
| Me: | 4:58pm Feb 4 |
"we dont need no punctuation" is the name of my new clothing line that I will sell to fellow gentrifiers. Jennifer, you must have gotten into NYU undergrad due to their affirmitive action quota, as I know "alot" smarter people that went there. I see you go to NY Law, the Metropolitan College of Law Schools. Thanks for the ideas Andrew! My fellow gentrifiers will love those t-shirts.
| Louis Caruso | 5:08pm Feb 4 |
sam thamamaters has degrees to.
| Louis Caruso | 5:11pm Feb 4 |
Sam stick your shirts up your ASS.
This is when I found out I had been kicked out of the group. Oh well, I am on to the next inner city neighborhood that needs my authentically deck culture. I just want to thank all the good people at the Gentfrication Foundation for their financial support.
If I weren't at work, I'd be laughing a lot louder right now. How did no one read between the lines? Who doesn't know "The Wall"? Stop riling these people up. They might take it out on their kids or coworkers.
ReplyDeletelol. bunch of idiots. I actually know that first person Anthony Fontana. Think you do too sam.
ReplyDeleteDoes it make you a douche to pretend to be one?
ReplyDeleteI don't know. Does it make you a giraffe if you pretend to be one?
ReplyDeletethis was SOO good, Sam...I still can't get over it.
ReplyDelete"sam thamamaters has degrees to."- you remember that, now.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe idea of purposely angering people for your amusement is beyond juvenile. The idea that you'd cheer someone who does exactly that makes you just the same, so if it's a giraffe then so be it.
ReplyDeleteWhen you moved into the neighborhood you knew what it was about. My grandparents lived on Elizabeth St and this feast is important to the Italian community, weather in NYC or NJ or California.
ReplyDeleteSo get a grip and deal with it, if you want it perfect move to Paramus.
BTW, I do agree there needs to be a crackdown on those who disrupt and take advantage.
this isn't fukin' sex and the city. this is nyc. Hopefully you dont get mugged for your iphone
ReplyDeleteThis was a great read! OMG. As the old saying goes "truth is stranger than fiction". Thanks so much for posting the insane and inane postings of the Facebook group's followers. Yikes. Clearly these people have more than love of the SG feast in common. They're all humor-challenged and, sadly, unaware of Pink Floyd. Kind of sad....
ReplyDeleteWell done, "Sam." Your next grant is in the mail.
ReplyDeleteI believe I told you that I knew you were not real, but instead a sad soul who craves attention. Sad. It's not funny, it's very sad sam, like you, it's sad. I believe I also told you to go home. So Sam, go home bro. Please, just go home.
ReplyDeleteUh Oh, Andrew Says go home. I'm packing my bags right now to go back home to the Lower East Side. I have nothing againt Italians, in fact I'm married to one (who also thinks youre a moron btw). I do have issues with morons like yourself. So go back to living your stereotypical Italian lifestyle riding your ducati, calling people bro, and emulating the actors in your favorite movies Goodfellas, Godfather I,II and III, and Casino by wearing that rediculous red and black three piece suit and fedora. And for god sakes man, make your facebook profile private, you make it too easy.
ReplyDeleteI guess I fail to see the humor in this..sure your sarcasm can be witty, but whats the point? Why are you always trying to piss people off, without any real purpose for change? Your wit is wasted on your lack of taste.
ReplyDelete