All It Takes Is One Book

Many of us spent countless hours and years studying, thousands of dollars on books and supplies, and tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition to obtain the piece of paper known as a College Degree.

One top public university has proudly flaunted the following statistics about the most recently admitted Class of 2014: 79% were in the top 25% of their High School Class, 63 valedictorians and 47 salutatorians, and 200% more minority freshmen than in Fall ‘95. This university has 14 schools & colleges, 99 undergraduate majors, 17 graduate degrees, and 5 professional degree programs (J.D., LL.M., M.D., D.M.D., Pharm.D.) All for an annual $20,000 in state tuition (not including room and board) and $40,000 for out of state students.

Would you believe me if I told you that you could graduate from this school by reading one (1) book? I wouldn't. Because you can't. Not if you are the type of person who studied hard and got good grades. But if you are an elite athlete, one book is all it takes to become a scholar!

Yes, my friends, NBA Developmental League 2011 NCAA Basketball Champion U-Conn is proud of its most famous graduating Junior, Bronx native, First team All-American, top college point guard, NCAA Basketball Tournament Most Outstanding Player and esteemed scholar- Kemba Walker.

Kemba Walker is so smart and talented that he has been able to cram four years of Division I basketball and a sociology degree into only three years, all without reading a single book! His non-reading streak came to an end this year, when he was compelled to actually read one (1) book for a class on racism in sports. New York Hipster Times columnist William C. Rhoden's Forty Million Dollar Slaves: The Rise, Fall, and Redemption of the Black Athlete. Kemba confirmed that he finally read his first big boy book. "That's true, you can write that. It is the first book I've ever read." he stated to a Sports Illustrated reporter.

So Walker has read one book and won one championship, I guess he's ready for graduation! It is hilarious that the only book Walker has ever read is about how the white man rips off the black community by paying its elite athletes millions of dollars per year to play sports. The book's thesis is today's black athletes are basically plantation slaves. (A thesis, for those of us who have read one or fewer books in our lifetime, is the central point of what you intend to prove) I wonder if All-Pro NFL Running Back Adrian Peterson read the same book before he said in regard to the NFL lockout “It’s a modern-day slavery, you know?" No Adrian, I don't think anyone with a recently signed a $40 million ($17 mil guaranteed) contract could be considered a slave. Fellow Running Back  cultural anthropologist Rashard Mendenhall followed up with; "Anyone with knowledge of the slave trade and the NFL could say that these two parallel each other.” Yes Rashard, playing professional sports is totally like being a slave.

Future Sociology Phd Kemba Walker