Why I am not a Hipster

When my friends really want to insult me they use the worst of terms. They do not call me a Jew Faggot Kike Nigger Donkey Raping Shiteater. They call me a Hipster. A Dirty Hipster. There is nothing more insulting than being called this horrible term. It is such an offensive term, it should not be spoken or written out. If it must be said, call it the H word, and if it must be written, spell it like this: H*****r. I was so offended at being called a H*****r, I thought, maybe I AM one. I have weird hair, a tattoo, and lived in Brooklyn for 2 years. I have several trademarks of a H*****r. Then I remembered my friends were assholes and were just trying to get me to kill myself, as all H*****rs should do. I remembered my hair is awesome, my tattoo is non-ironic, and I lived in Brooklyn only after being priced out of my Lower East Side hood (if  I was a H*****r I would have called it a "Nabe").

I also have many attributes that do not classifty me as a H*****r. I have a job. I like art and music, but not that garbage on Kickstarter. I think if you went to any art school ever, you wasted your time and money. I think the Salvation Army exists for low income people, not for people to appear low income. I think tight pants are stupid. I think Williamsburg and Greenpoint should be populated by blacks, Hasids, Poles and immigrants, not Meghans, Tylers Brooks and Harrisons from Ohio. And most importantly I love NYC because I grew up here, not because it is cool to love NY.