But wait...pledge $30 NOW and get a free order of tasteless vegan organic cookies!
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| San-Diego-Born-NewYork-Transplant Katty Hoelck |
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Clothing For Holocaust Survivors & Starving Africans
Please help Artist/Designer Katy Hoelck make her fashion line, like, a reality for only, like, $2,000! Like yah! The clothing was "inspired by California wildfires" and of course uses an ECO-FRIENDLY "patented heat transfer dye technique that uses no water in its process"!!!!! Nevermind that the clothing will be produced in a Shanghai sweatshop, whatevs, its ECO FRIENDLY!
Don't you think someone who can afford $17,700 PER SEMESTER to afford Parsons could afford a couple more thousand to put her life's work into practice? I'm sure Katty will have a job waiting for her when she is done with school.... This horrible line of clothing appears as if it has been designed with Holocaust Survivors, Rwandan Refugees or poor people in mind. Not "American Poor" as in they live in the projects and eat McDonalds every day and weigh 300 lbs by the time they begin puberty at age 9. Actual poor people. Like in India or Africa who have to sell their youngest babies to buy food for their other babies.
But wait...pledge $30 NOW and get a free order of tasteless vegan organic cookies!
I'm not going to be a complete dick and link to her facebook page, which is completely public (look at meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!) I sort of feel bad, I dont think "Katty" ever had a chance.
But wait...pledge $30 NOW and get a free order of tasteless vegan organic cookies!
Friday, March 25, 2011
Nora the Disengenuous White Liberal Douche Malone (Happy Friday)
In light of recent terrorist activities in Israel this week including the murder of three children in their beds and the bus bombing in which a 60 year old British missionary was killed, it is the perfect time to shed light on the terrorist supporting activities of Nora The Disingenuous While Liberal Carroll Gardens Douche Malone. I came across this link begging for $$ to fund her trip to Gaza to make a liberal propaganda film so I emailed her:
Dear Ms. Malone:
I would like to fund your entire campaign to Gaza under one simple condition; you promise to stay there and never set foot in New York City ever again. If you believe that the U.S. is waging a joint war with Israel against poor Palestinians and Muslims worldwide, you should really make that fact be known and not hide behind your campaign for "Palestinian human rights". As hard as you may try, nothing you do or say will dam the torrential rivers of white guilt that surge through your veins. I am unaware as to how you found yourself wallowing in this cesspool of left wing propaganda. I imagine that at some point you were misled by a troubled child from the "Religion of Peace" who blamed America and Israel for his/her predicament, and thus, so did you. You are an ignorant, self absorbed phony that cares not about Gaza or any Palestinians.
She emailed back:
Thank you for your generous offer to completely fund my campaign to go to Gaza. Please do put the check in the mail as soon as possible. $7,000 would cover airfare, tapestock, accommodation for 4 months. Please make check out to Nora Malone, 249 Smith Street # 186, Brooklyn, NY 11231. For tax-deductible contributions please submit check to my film's fiscal sponsor, Women Make Movies, Inc. Of course I'd prefer a direct check as WMM will take 7%.
I told this "Master of Fine Arts" that her initial offer was $1,600 to go to Gaza, and she could not extort me for $7,000. Why should I pay for her lodging? The Palestinians should put her up just fine if she was making a real effort in their favor and not using them to advance herself. After this she said she was reporting me to the NYPD. I told her I'm sure the fellas down at the 76th Precinct (Carrol Gardens, one of the richest, whitest, crime-free hoods in the city) would most assuredly chip in to get rid of her whiny liberal ass. I wonder if she ever filed that report.
Dear Ms. Malone:
I would like to fund your entire campaign to Gaza under one simple condition; you promise to stay there and never set foot in New York City ever again. If you believe that the U.S. is waging a joint war with Israel against poor Palestinians and Muslims worldwide, you should really make that fact be known and not hide behind your campaign for "Palestinian human rights". As hard as you may try, nothing you do or say will dam the torrential rivers of white guilt that surge through your veins. I am unaware as to how you found yourself wallowing in this cesspool of left wing propaganda. I imagine that at some point you were misled by a troubled child from the "Religion of Peace" who blamed America and Israel for his/her predicament, and thus, so did you. You are an ignorant, self absorbed phony that cares not about Gaza or any Palestinians.
She emailed back:
Thank you for your generous offer to completely fund my campaign to go to Gaza. Please do put the check in the mail as soon as possible. $7,000 would cover airfare, tapestock, accommodation for 4 months. Please make check out to Nora Malone, 249 Smith Street # 186, Brooklyn, NY 11231. For tax-deductible contributions please submit check to my film's fiscal sponsor, Women Make Movies, Inc. Of course I'd prefer a direct check as WMM will take 7%.
Sincerely,
Nora Malone
MFA, Film and Media Arts Temple University 2003
www.noramalone.net
Cell 267 241 0405
Nora Malone
MFA, Film and Media Arts Temple University 2003
www.noramalone.net
Cell 267 241 0405
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Hipsters Exit Here:
I wish the off-ramp for Exit 1893 led directly into a car shredder. That would be so authentic.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Sustainable Bullshit
Sustainable. Organic. Fair Trade. Sustainable. Organic. Fair Trade. Sustainable. Organic. Fair Trade. The mantra of the modern disingenuous white liberal yuppie hipster douche.
Check out this site where you can buy eco-friendly Jewelry: Loving Each Other and Loving The Planet. A Marriage in Values. We oppose diamond mining, with the unconscionable human and ecological sacrifice it extracts. With the availability of equivalent synthetics to handle cultural and industrial needs, mining of diamonds is simply no longer needed. By retraining diamond miners to earn non-mining livelihoods, we could help communities make a transition to sustainable and ecologically responsible economies.
Don't you think if the starving Africans had a better way to feed their family they would do it? But they don't have a better option. Its Africa. Its hot. They're hungry and AIDS ridden. And its all The CIA's fault. So while the government target of your white guilt may be appropriate, you're still a fucking moron thinking that people will stop wanting to own diamonds because some African 8,000 miles away gave his life for it. And so the poor people of Africa work in a fucking mine. Just like the poor people of China, India, Mexico, Pakistan, Nevada, Virginia, and every other state or country in the whole world work in mines. Let's just retrain them all and everyone can work in an office or a food coop like me! No. They cant. There will always be someone poorer than you digging fucking ore with their bare hands earning less than the guy who delivers your dry cleaning.
I wonder how many diamond miners have been retrained and what will they be retrained to do? Make organic sustainable jewelry with recycled metals? Nope, sorry. Disingenuous white liberal yuppie hipster douches have a choke hold on that industry.
Africa is just missing one critical ingredient that will help spur its transformation into the next global superpower. For Africa to assume its place amongst the world's technological and economic elite all it needs is ................................. ........................................... ................................................ ................... .............. ............................... ...................BIKE LANES!!!!
Check out this site where you can buy eco-friendly Jewelry: Loving Each Other and Loving The Planet. A Marriage in Values. We oppose diamond mining, with the unconscionable human and ecological sacrifice it extracts. With the availability of equivalent synthetics to handle cultural and industrial needs, mining of diamonds is simply no longer needed. By retraining diamond miners to earn non-mining livelihoods, we could help communities make a transition to sustainable and ecologically responsible economies.
Don't you think if the starving Africans had a better way to feed their family they would do it? But they don't have a better option. Its Africa. Its hot. They're hungry and AIDS ridden. And its all The CIA's fault. So while the government target of your white guilt may be appropriate, you're still a fucking moron thinking that people will stop wanting to own diamonds because some African 8,000 miles away gave his life for it. And so the poor people of Africa work in a fucking mine. Just like the poor people of China, India, Mexico, Pakistan, Nevada, Virginia, and every other state or country in the whole world work in mines. Let's just retrain them all and everyone can work in an office or a food coop like me! No. They cant. There will always be someone poorer than you digging fucking ore with their bare hands earning less than the guy who delivers your dry cleaning.
I wonder how many diamond miners have been retrained and what will they be retrained to do? Make organic sustainable jewelry with recycled metals? Nope, sorry. Disingenuous white liberal yuppie hipster douches have a choke hold on that industry.
Africa is just missing one critical ingredient that will help spur its transformation into the next global superpower. For Africa to assume its place amongst the world's technological and economic elite all it needs is ................................. ........................................... ................................................ ................... .............. ............................... ...................BIKE LANES!!!!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Anti-Hipster Rally: Saturday, March 26th
On March 26th, please join me and the angry residents of Little Italy at the anti-Hipster rally on Mulberry Street to protest the gentrification of Nolita. The rally will take place this Saturday, March 26th from 1:00pm - 4:00pm beginning with a unicycle solidarity ride Hipster stomping march from Mulberry and Canal
Streets to the Old St. Patrick's Youth Center on
Mulberry Street between Prince Street and Houston Street. Don't forget your brickbats and collapsible batons. We will be stomping out Hipsters left and right and sending them back to North Oklahomaconsin.
Here is a link with more info about the rally. It starts officially at 1PM, so I suggest we meet up by 9:30 AM at the very latest in order to drink as much non-ironic alcohol as possible before the rally starts.
Here is a link with more info about the rally. It starts officially at 1PM, so I suggest we meet up by 9:30 AM at the very latest in order to drink as much non-ironic alcohol as possible before the rally starts.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Happy Monday!
I took this picture a few months ago on another rainy Monday morning. This amazing sign was taped up on the bus stop across from my building. I love the projects almost as much as I love Hipsters.
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| I love the smiley faces in the exclamation marks :) |
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Hipster Boycott
A few months ago we began a plan to eliminate all Hipsters; The Final Solution for Hipsters. We have made some progress but have not yet destroyed the Hipster. Help the cause by signing this petition.
The next stage is to boycott the brands below that cater to Hipsters by using them in their advertising campaigns. I don't want to see Hipsters on the street, so what asshole 23 year old advertising executive thinks I want to hear or see them on television? I left off the list any obviously Hipster brand such as American Apparel, hats that look like animals, Apple, Urban Outfitters, MTV or the NY Times.
In alphabetical order, this is what we have come up with so far. Please feel free to add your suggestions in the comments section. Thank you and remember, there is always a NON-HIPSTER ALTERNATIVE!
Blackberry Style & Torch
Ford
Heineken
Honda
Hyundai
Levi's
McDonalds
Miracle Whip
Nexus S
Old Spice
Smirnoff
Sprint
State Farm
T-Mobile
Tommy Hilfiger
Volkswagen
Zune
One thing I noticed is that you can't watch 5 minutes of TV without seeing a commercial for shampoo, laundry detergent, or another type of cleaning product. These items NEVER use Hipsters in their advertising. I'm not sure if it is because Hipsters don't purchase cleaning products, or because normies don't want to take cleaning advice from filthy Hipsters.
The next stage is to boycott the brands below that cater to Hipsters by using them in their advertising campaigns. I don't want to see Hipsters on the street, so what asshole 23 year old advertising executive thinks I want to hear or see them on television? I left off the list any obviously Hipster brand such as American Apparel, hats that look like animals, Apple, Urban Outfitters, MTV or the NY Times.
In alphabetical order, this is what we have come up with so far. Please feel free to add your suggestions in the comments section. Thank you and remember, there is always a NON-HIPSTER ALTERNATIVE!
Blackberry Style & Torch
Ford
Heineken
Honda
Hyundai
Levi's
McDonalds
Miracle Whip
Nexus S
Old Spice
Smirnoff
Sprint
State Farm
T-Mobile
Tommy Hilfiger
Volkswagen
Zune
One thing I noticed is that you can't watch 5 minutes of TV without seeing a commercial for shampoo, laundry detergent, or another type of cleaning product. These items NEVER use Hipsters in their advertising. I'm not sure if it is because Hipsters don't purchase cleaning products, or because normies don't want to take cleaning advice from filthy Hipsters.
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