Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Hipster Boycott

A few months ago we began a plan to eliminate all Hipsters; The Final Solution for Hipsters. We have made some progress but have not yet destroyed the Hipster. Help the cause by signing this petition.

The next stage is to boycott the brands below that cater to Hipsters by using them in their advertising campaigns. I don't want to see Hipsters on the street, so what asshole 23 year old advertising executive thinks I want to hear or see them on television? I left off the list any obviously Hipster brand such as American Apparel, hats that look like animals, Apple, Urban Outfitters, MTV or the NY Times.

In alphabetical order, this is what we have come up with so far. Please feel free to add your suggestions in the comments section. Thank you and remember, there is always a NON-HIPSTER ALTERNATIVE!

Blackberry Style & Torch
Ford
Heineken
Honda
Hyundai
Levi's
McDonalds
Miracle Whip
Nexus S
Old Spice
Smirnoff
Sprint
State Farm
T-Mobile
Tommy Hilfiger
Volkswagen
Zune

One thing I noticed is that you can't watch 5 minutes of TV without seeing a commercial for shampoo, laundry detergent, or another type of cleaning product. These items NEVER use Hipsters in their advertising. I'm not sure if it is because Hipsters don't purchase cleaning products, or because normies don't want to take cleaning advice from filthy Hipsters.

30 comments:

  1. I guarantee you, try to listen to the commercials on TV from another room, as soon as you hear a folky song with a girl voice (most likely a cover of a semi-popular song of the 70s-90) you have a hipster commercial.

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  2. Nothing is more trite than a self-proclaimed anti-hipster. The word "hipster" is a meaningless, catch-all term that people of color use for young whites who move into their neighborhood, that cranky Gen X-ers use for Millenials who follow their own sense of fashion, for poor kids to use for kids who have more money than them, and for conformists to use for those who dare to have different priorities. When I hear someone sneer at hipsters, it always says more about the sneer-er than the sneer-ee.

    Who else but a wretch would complain all the time about hipsters but a wretch of a person. On the bright side, with all the publicity the miserable whiners give to hipsters, more people who prefer to live happier lives will look at the wretches then look at the hipsters and choose to rather associate with the hipsters and/or become one. Think about it.

    Anti-hipster sentiment is really based on a resentment of people who have healthier and more fulfilling social lives. Judging from their comments, a lot of anti-hipster sentiment evidently comes from "tough guy" non-intellectual homophobic macho types who feel that the more sensitive, intelligent, physically slimmer, and culturally aware hipster ideal threatens their insecure sense of masculinity. At some point in their lives they probably got mocked and ridiculed, or even had beer poured all over their heads, by some downtown girl with a tattoo (aka "hipster") after trying to pull some lame move on them. If you think about it, in some ways the entire hipster revolution came about to mock and ridicule such people and their mentalities. It's not about meat and muscle anymore. Anti-hipster sentiment often comes from people who simply can't keep up with social change and are envious of those who can. Remember...you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant about hipsters.

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    Replies
    1. you sound like a 15 year old, Trey.

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  3. Yeah Trey, just keep telling yourself that. The fact is that it is we who are more psychologically healthy, and have better social lives, because our social lives aren't based on slavishly following trends and buying certain goods. Most of us realized how idiotic trends were back in high school, and we also learned how to grow up and stop craving so much attention.

    I have to say that your fantasy about hipsters being "culturally aware" is almost as hilarious as your idea that hipster women are sophisticated, or the idea that hipsters would somehow be more appealing to women.

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  4. By "hipster" do you mean someone that is younger and skinnier than you? Someone that hasn't tempered their attire to procure full-time employment at a corporate office? The person you used to be before you decided to get serious about life and not have fun anymore? Or the person you can't be anymore because you're older and you think twice about wearing silly sunglasses and all your friends are boring as shit?

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  5. Yeeesssss, because if one matures, actually gets in shape, and doesn't give a fuck about "what's in", nor the latest gadgets of a large corporation, and doesn't constantly seek attention, it must be because they are some kind of unhappy, overweight piece of office equipment. May idiotic false dichotomies never die.

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  6. Hey Trey, your a shit dick

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  7. I like music. I know 2 year olds that like music, too. I like art and I enjoy traveling, but do I blog about it? No. Do I brag about it? No. Do I compare myself to others based on what I do and what I’ve experienced? No, not one fucking bit. If my friends are interested in what I’ve read or where I’ve been, then I’ll tell them, or at least try to get them to join me. This is normal behavior. Hipsters on the other hand, tend to do the exact opposite; their life is in itself a rat race, a perpetual dick-measuring competition in a pseudo-intellectual way. The ‘you just can’t appreciate this art as much as I can’ mentality, ‘Yeah, you read the book, but did you really READ the book’ attitude, ‘I went there before it was cool’, ‘I don’t buy $1.50 cups of coffee from the gas station, but I buy $7 cups of coffee because it’s good for 3rd world countries’, actually it’s good for Starbucks and their free Wi-Fi.

    Oh, and don’t you find it brash to say that other people don’t know how to have fun? Are you kidding me? If by fun you mean eating ethnic foods, drinking socially with friends, and experiencing the world around you, then Welcome! You are one of the 7 billion people on this earth. You are not special, and you are not changing a fucking thing. Sorry, but those zany glasses you purchased don’t change your experience from anyone else’s. (May I suggest a large wheatfield and LSD, and keeping the fuck out of my way).

    The sad/frustrating part is that every day you waste - snapping photos of garbage cans, shooting Indie films in your kitchen, writing songs that are too deep emotionally for anyone to appreciate, and chasing the next-deck-thing-that-will-be-deck-until-it-gets-too-mainstream – your time to do something actually meaningful on this earth is slipping away. Now, if you guys were really smart you would study something useful and do your hobbies on the side (that’s what you’re life basically boils down to: chasing the newest wacky hobby and following the lead). I suggest you try Physics, Medicine, Chemistry, Astronomy, Teaching, Engineering, all of those normal things that are too mainstream and require work and non-fiction, non-philosophy books. Then you might actually learn how to enjoy the normalcy of being a person and become something more than a fucking hemorrhoid with an ironic t-shirt.

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  8. 2 Things-
    First, here is the real story behind internet fauxhemian "Trey Parasuco": http://diehipster.wordpress.com/2010/02/26/stevetrey-part-deux/

    Also, someone sent me the following comment that was not published for some reason. I couldnt have said it better:
    I like music. I know 2 year olds that like music, too. I like art and I enjoy traveling, but do I blog about it? No. Do I brag about it? No. Do I compare myself to others based on what I do and what I’ve experienced? No, not one fucking bit. If my friends are interested in what I’ve read or where I’ve been, then I’ll tell them, or at least try to get them to join me. This is normal behavior. Hipsters on the other hand, tend to do the exact opposite; their life is in itself a rat race, a perpetual dick-measuring competition in a pseudo-intellectual way. The ‘you just can’t appreciate this art as much as I can’ mentality, ‘Yeah, you read the book, but did you really READ the book’ attitude, ‘I went there before it was cool’, ‘I don’t buy $1.50 cups of coffee from the gas station, but I buy $7 cups of coffee because it’s good for 3rd world countries’, actually it’s good for Starbucks and their free Wi-Fi.

    Oh, and don’t you find it brash to say that other people don’t know how to have fun? Are you kidding me? If by fun you mean eating ethnic foods, drinking socially with friends, and experiencing the world around you, then Welcome! You are one of the 7 billion people on this earth. You are not special, and you are not changing a fucking thing. Sorry, but those zany glasses you purchased don’t change your experience from anyone else’s. (May I suggest a large wheatfield and LSD, and keeping the fuck out of my way).

    The sad/frustrating part is that every day you waste - snapping photos of garbage cans, shooting Indie films in your kitchen, writing songs that are too deep emotionally for anyone to appreciate, and chasing the next-deck-thing-that-will-be-deck-until-it-gets-too-mainstream – your time to do something actually meaningful on this earth is slipping away. Now, if you guys were really smart you would study something useful and do your hobbies on the side (that’s what you’re life basically boils down to: chasing the newest wacky hobby and following the lead). I suggest you try Physics, Medicine, Chemistry, Astronomy, Teaching, Engineering, all of those normal things that are too mainstream and require work and non-fiction, non-philosophy books. Then you might actually learn how to enjoy the normalcy of being a person and become something more than a fucking hemorrhoid with an ironic t-shirt.

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  9. P.S. Hipsters, if you didn't play the game or watch the show when you were a kid, don't fucking wear the t-shirt and try to reminisce about it.

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  10. @Laura Chennel

    Remember...you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant about hipsters. When I hear someone sneer at hipsters, it always says more about the sneer-er than the sneer-ee. Clearly one has something deeply missing in their personal lives if one must devote so much time and effort criticizing entire groups of people based on a loosely generalized stereotype called "hipster". Seriously...walk around on any college campus or actually go out on a Sat. night. You'll find a way to label pretty much any and every young adult a "hipster" as "hipsterism" has reached the mainstream. Anti-hipster sentiment is nothing more than just a big waste of time and a candle in the wind.

    What are you really fighting against? The fact that young people like to get drunk and have fun once in a while? It sucks to be old doesn't it? You guys are more pathetic than the "hipsters" you mock.

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  11. "You'll find a way to label pretty much any and every young adult a "hipster" as "hipsterism" has reached the mainstream. Anti-hipster sentiment is nothing more than just a big waste of time and a candle in the wind."

    HA HA!!! Hipsterism has reached the "mainstream". That pretty much ruins it, right?

    "What are you really fighting against? The fact that young people like to get drunk and have fun once in a while? It sucks to be old doesn't it?"

    Let me guess, you're an Apple marketing exec, right?

    Please spare us your fantasies of savvy, "cultured" hipsters, especially discriminating hipster chicks. If I ever wanted to pick up one of those sluts there's one surefire line: "I've got some old movies and cocaine at my place."

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  12. @Laura - Thanks for fixing the post. I was wondering what happened to it after I submitted it.

    @Trey - Fuck You!

    Wow, what a daft generalization of psyche, ‘you can always rate the amount of insecurity someone has by the amount they rant about hipsters’, in that case you sound bland, neutered, and you enjoy hiding behind the anonymity of the internet, you may also suffer from dissociative identity disorder. You think normal people are boring, because you see that lackadaisical trait in yourself, so you choose to do something you consider out of the ordinary, or smart, in order to seek acceptance and praise from people you do not know. You seem to refrain from self-critique, and instead seek to use the “I am Rubber, you are Glue form of argument” to take the criticism of your lifestyle and nip it in the bud before it reaches the bottom or your shallow being, you aim to be a narcissist.

    See how stupid profiling people sounds? You’re not as witty as you think. Casting self-doubt is a predatory trait asshole, nice try. But then again, you’re too smart, both in social and intellectual aspects to take criticism from a normal person. I tried to warn you earlier, but anyways have fun spending your parent’s money! Take a picture of your face for me the day you turn 40 and realize your lifelong achievements consist of a stack of finger-paintings and learning how to repair bicycles.

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  13. Let us also remember that hipsters tend to be in their late 20's, even early 30's, so they are not "youth culture"(a stupid, non-existent term eagerly appropriated by Madison Ave.) in the slightest. They are merely overgrown children.

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  14. @Anonymous

    "I tried to warn you earlier, but anyways have fun spending your parent’s money! Take a picture of your face for me the day you turn 40 and realize your lifelong achievements consist of a stack of finger-paintings and learning how to repair bicycles."

    Again you just backed up my earlier point about criticizing entire groups of people based on loosely generalized stereotypes. You took the bait, hook, line, and sinker. It's funny how you take offense of my profiling of you idiots on here when you do the same for anyone else in the world. So anyone who rides a bike, or anyone who doesn't have a 9 to 5 day job is a "hipster" now? I'm not here to say whether hipsterism is good or bad. I'm simply stating the fact that hipsterism is everywhere...including prime time TV. It's now part of mainstream culture and hipsterism is here to stay permanently. Suck it up and deal with it instead of whining like a bunch of miserable "hipster-this-hipster-that" complainers.

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  15. First off, hipsters take pride in being "non-mainstream", so you fail. Second, there is nothing wrong with "stereotyping" people who deliberate act a certain way and purposely adhere to a certain lifestyle. It is in no way similar to race, sexual orientation, or other traits that one is born with.

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  16. You forgot one important brand on that list PBR. "Gradually, with the brand's image being crafted not by the company but by its consumers, the beer spread into the hands of the hipsters who flock to neighborhoods like Williamsburg in Brooklyn and Silver Lake in Los Angeles." -Business week

    http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/10_39/b4196062862199_page_2.htm

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  17. @Ruslan

    If I didn't make it clear enough for you, the "hipster" doesn't exist anymore in the way that you see it. EVERYTHING has been absorbed into the mainstream. We are living in a "post-hipster" era in which so called "hipster" ideologies from 10 years ago are now common place, ubiquitous, and perfectly acceptable by the masses. This is why you see it everywhere in advertising. These so called hipster brands that the author of the blog is ranting about don't exist to promote "hipsterism", but rather they exist because "hipsters" are pretty much everywhere, and advertisers design ads in a manner for which mass audiences can relate to. For God's sake...the NY Times is publishing articles promoting "hipster" establishments and "hipster" lifestyles, and you can buy skinny jeans at the GAP. The "hipsters" that you complain about don't even know what "hipsterism" is, nor do they know that they are being "hipsters" because it's everywhere on TV/magazines, at clubs/parties etc. The fact that you idiots are still ranting on a phenomena that was started a decade ago and was considered marginal back then, but has now essentially become the status quo, just means you hate anyone and everyone in the world and are probably deeply missing something in your personal lives.

    P.S. Did I mention that "hipsterism" is now an international phenomena? You can find "hipsters" on every continent in the world. So you hate the entire world now huh? Suck it up.

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  18. @Ruslan

    You can stereotype people all you want. I'm just explaining why you look like total idiots when you rant against "hipsters". You're 10 years too late to be frothing at the mouth against a marginal phenomena that has now been absorbed by the mainstream, where elements of "hipster" culture are now so ubiquitous you see it in the NYTimes.

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  19. If you think the term Hipster is a loosely based stereotype you are sadly mistaken. Are you so dim to think it has to do with your clothes? It isn’t JUST about what you wear. Hipsterism doesn’t just pertain to white, wealthy, bearded twenty-thirty year olds, or . They can be any race: Asian, Black, Latin, Brazilian, etc. The term hipster has to do with the fauxhemian, nose-up attitude, lack of creativity, no sense of originality, along with the accompanying pseudo-art, low intellect, little-princess herd of sheep-people who have never had to work for anything; they crawl into each other’s asses and try to one up each other.

    Millenials? You guys aren’t only Millenials. You are children of the 80s, 90s, and 00s; the “A for effort crowd”, the kids who have had their asses wiped by their parents their entire lives. It boggles my brain to think about your guys’ paradoxical independence!

    For big-money conglomerates, the hipster is the ideally-molded consumer. You’re all too socially aware, too smart for your own good, and way too independent to shop at Wal-mart or Target, or even Sears. So other big companies come along, flash some beard-o ads, hip music, Kanye glasses, and you guys start sucking at the teet.

    Hipsterism is a style, yes; but the dictionary term should be something along the lines of: lifestyle of arrested development and malignant naivety. Lastly, here is how full of shit you guys are: Hipsters spend big bucks for items that support efforts in 3rd world countries, but you are afraid of, and apathetic to similar conditions in your own cities.

    Trey, you can stop reading here.

    Hey Normal people, how much do you want to bet that the next “IN” thing will be Tamagotchi for Iphones! Let's make some money off of these phonies.

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  20. "trey"- Just because "hipsterism" has made it into the mainstream doesnt mean we should like or accept it. We do not have to accept the pussification of America. We do not have to accept the toddlerization of NYC.

    Just because a bunch of stupid college kids dress like hipsters doesnt mean they will accept that lifestyle after college when many of them will actually have to work for a living. I was an immature asshole in college too. Then I grew the fuck up, unlike many douchey hipsters.

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  21. Why do any of you give a shit what someone wants to do with their life.

    To the Anti-Hipster: It's easy, just ignore them, if you dont want to buy "their" products then dont. If you dont approve of their lackluster life style and "immature" attitude, then ignore them. Maybe you can have some satisfaction when one day they are applying to jobs in which you are now the boss, but until then, if they want to not "grow up" and take a different path in life then let them.

    To the Hipster: If someone wants to get into the corporate world and become part of the working world, then good for them. Dont be a preachy douche and try to act superior or more knowledgeable.

    Why can everyone just be more tolerant of different lifestyles, not everyone wants to do the same thing in their life. Both sides need to grow up and shut up. Live your life and enjoy it, dont worry about what others do with theirs. Unless you are literally causing someone else harm or putting them in danger, go about your life and enjoy it. It's this sort of ignorance and intolerance that is just disgusting.

    Disclosure: I work for a large financial corporation, and wear suits everyday to work and am considered a "corporate professional". However I still go to crazy concerts, wear crazy colorful sunglasses out, and own some products on your "hipster" list (hint: some of the companies are actually just producing the best product on the market). So I guess I fall into both categories.

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  22. @Laura Chennel

    "We do not have to accept the pussification of America. We do not have to accept the toddlerization of NYC."

    This is just your opinion. Clearly a large part of the mainstream masses has embraced hipsterism. You're 10 years too late with your complaints if you think you'll be changing anything. America will never go back to being what it "used to be", for the better or worse. Society changes. That's life.


    "I was an immature asshole in college too. Then I grew the fuck up, unlike many douchey hipsters."

    How hypocritical of you! So you had your "fun" when you were younger, now let "hipsters" have their fun. What's it matter to you how people choose to currently live their lives or what brands they buy? Just like NicKam said, just ignore them instead of acting like a socially intolerant idiot. "Hipsters" may be pretentious, but at least they stick to themselves. Is your personal life really that empty that you have to constantly moan and complain what everyone else is doing?!? Like I had said before...when I hear someone sneer at hipsters, it always says more about the sneer-er than the sneer-ee.

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  23. I never said I dont like music, getting drunk or having fun. I said it is a problem when you are 30- 40 years old and still act like a spoiled, attention craving child.

    Fuck you "Trey", eat my shit.

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  24. @Laura Chennel

    And if we integrate this blog post and everything else you've said in the comments, you're basically saying that if you eat at McDonalds, drive a Ford, have Sprint or T-Mobile as a cellphone carrier, you're an attention craving hipster. Do you know how idiotic you sound?!?

    See...this is why you're full of it and why it's so easy to see right through you. You're looking for any excuse to hate on people because somehow it gives your empty life a false sense of purpose and you're trying to make up for something you lack. This is why it's ALWAYS true that when someone sneers at hipsters, it always says more about the sneer-er than the sneer-ee

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  25. Kill yourself "Trey". Go project your own sense of inadequacy of your own empty life and false sense of purpose elsewhere.

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  26. Hey Trey, take your Psychology degree and ask someone to shove it into your ass. If there are no willing volunteers, wait until your parents get home and ask them. I'm sure they'll do it for you. If not, tell them it's your latest art project, they'll probably go elbow-deep and sprinkle some money around in there as well.

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  27. blah blah blah... "normies" made me smile. Plus, I really love anyone who can express themselves well in writing. Bravo!

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  28. NiKAM POSTED :Why can everyone just be more tolerant of different lifestyles, not everyone wants to do the same thing in their life. ?

    RESPONSE: Because being tolerant of different lifestyles is being a namby-pamby, pusillanimous sellout (also known as a postmodernist) . Some lifestyles (like trendy , conformist hipster and yuppie lifestyles) are downright evil..not merely silly and stupid , but evil for the promote mindless conformity, dilettantism , and duplicity in thought .

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  29. I don't have a problem with people doing whatever interests them. I have a problem when families are not welcomed in their own communities. I tried to accept our new neighbors on different occasions. These "hipsters" are from another planet. Common sense is non-existant. I have friends in your LES playground, who have ends to meet, and they are met with violence towards you hipsters. Not that I condone it, but I don't care also.

    Trey you're delusional, the people you are attempting to defend are in their late 20's, early 30's. They are from all races, with the same background. Well-to-do families from the mid-west, partially funding their urban experience.

    I've been a LES resident for 30 years now. Crab on my pizza is not for me. They closed down a hardware store near me because rent skyrocketed for them. Want to know what took their place? Artisinal cupcakes. :( I can bet money, Trey can't see the reversed logic a neighborhood needs rather than wants. Gentrification has its pros: Cleaner parks, less crime, great restaurants. But then you have cons: ie. DH rants, ACW rants.

    Real new yorkers accept people from all races, backgrounds,styles, genders, tastes. What we do not condone is people fucking up our comfort for theirs. It's a crowded city, and NYers do not own New York, but we have routines and things we are accustomed too, that is slowly being compromised for the Joshes and Meghans transplants that we loosely refer as hipsters. We as Nyers adjust and adapt, because we are used to living with tourists. But after 30 years of living in the Lower east side of manhattan, I got priced out and I quietly moved further uptown. Sucks, but I found a "nabe" thats very family oriented, and quiet. And I'm happy with that.

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