Hipster Church

Last month I told you about the Hipster Synagogue. Now we have a Hipster Church too. 37 year old ordained minister Gage Jung said "We're not trying to make a church like the one your parents went to. We're trying to make a church for our generation". Dude, you're 37. Your parents are probably senior citizens. It's time to grow the fuck up. He added that he doesn't want to have a regular church, "It has to be different. We don't want to be like everyone else,". Of course you don't, that would be sooooo fin. You just have to be "unique". Just like the 150,000 othe "unique" L-train riding, trustafarian Vegan DJ baristas living in parentally subsidized Billyburg lofts wearing the same kaffiyah, red beard, and wool hats and scarves in the middle of summer..

"It's going to be tough trying to convince people that we're authentic, but people will know that we are real," YOU ARE NOT AUTHENTIC! You are just trying to get people to pay attention to you, which is the only thing hipsters. people will not just "know" you are real. They read this article and "know" you are a joke. The only thing this church does differently is members use a bible app on their iphones instead of using an actual bible and mingle over "indie music and donuts" Those donuts better be gluten free organic and sustainable or I call shenanigans.

Hipster Minister in his best $265 Summer Wool Cap